Someone talk to me. Anyone.

You hate me and I don’t blame you.

-His perfect smile
-His teeth
-He’s so tall
-His arms
-His black curly hair
-His huge dark eyes, OMG
-His eyebrows
-His hair when it’s super long
-His abs
-His super soft butt cheeks
-His cheeks
-He’s super organized
-He always smells good
-He’s really clean
-He takes care of his stuff
-How he hugs me when we are about to go to sleep
-How he talks when he’s excited about something
-His face when he’s concentrated
-How he talks when he’s explaining something to me
-How he is really nice to everyone
-He has good manners
-He’s always positive
-He respects me
-My sisters get along with him
-Even my “dad” likes him
-How he treats my mom
-My mom loves him as his own son
-How my niece and nephew like him
-He defends me against anyone
-He protects me from assholes
-He takes care for me when I’m sick
-He gets jealous but doesn’t show it even though I know he is
-He makes me food when I ask him to
-How he never fails to make me laugh when I’m with him
-How he celebrates a good kill when he’s playing black ops
-He always wishes me a good day at work/asks me how it went
-His serious face when he’s mad
-The face he makes when he sees me
-The huge smile he has the first time he sees me
-He’s unbelievably patient with me
-He will always smile even in the worst scenario
-How he kisses my forehead when we’re having sex
-He ALWAYS tells me he loves me during sex
-How he is really careful with me
-How he apologizes when ever he accidentally hits me with something
-How he laughs when I pretend I’m mad
-How he says “no” when I ask him to buy me something ridiculous
-How he holds my hand when we’re just laying in bed
-How he flirts with me when I look “good” to him
-How he pretends to hit on me and says “wassup baby”
-How he touches my butt or boob then stops when I look at him
-How he pretends to hump me from the back
-The funny faces he makes
-How he pretends to fight me then starts jumping all over the place
-How he puts a song that I hate just to see my reaction
-How he says “my dick” in a really deep voice
-How when he’s sleeping he looks for me in bed to hug me
-How in the morning he kisses me to wake me up
-His voice when he barely wakes up
-How he looks super hot when he’s out the shower
-He carries everything for me
-He laughs when I act silly
-How he walks
-His hands are so firm
-how he holds my hand while driving
-How he pretends to fall asleep out of no where and snores
-How he laughs when I’m laughing uncontrollably
-How I have tried to push him away countless times but he doesn’t give up
-How sweet he *used to be
-How I know what he tells me, he means it
-He makes me feel important
-How I’m the only girl he has ever loved
-How he tells me he wishes I could of been his first
-He is not fake
-How in my prom the first thing he said as we started dancing in couples was “I love you”
-How he was the first one between us to say I love you
-He’s the only boyfriend who has ever bought me flowers
-How he hugs me, I just love it
-He has cried for me, he doesn’t cry, ever.
-He’s proud of me
-How he told me that he wants to break my longest relationship record in such a cute way
-How every month he tells me “Happy xx months”
-How excited he got when I gave him our first year anniversary present
-How he always wears the bracelet I gave him
-How still to this day, he makes me melt
-He loves me, truly.

* he’s not as sweet, but still is. I love it.

That’s all I can think of right now. I am so in love with this guy.

Currently at the edge of binging and purging and I am beyond feeling suicidal.